I runaway on our wedding, but I marry the Almighty Father

“Well, maybe I’m not ready to get married.”

Sometimes in the middle of August of 2015, I can still recall how everybody seems so excited. I can still remember their faces seeing them as my longtime boyfriend proposed to me in front of our circle of friends. However, I left without any words after invitations have sent, reception- reserved and the honeymoon booked. It was as horrifying as ending the relationship itself: telling the guests and trying to recoup the cash. That decision of running away with him was not that easy. That was a huge decision I made. It has brought a big impact on my life and his.

I did not tell anybody my reason why I run away. You know, a bombshell announcement can also lead to interesting conversations. And nowadays, people are too judgmental. It's the reason why I wrote this article because I became too emotional about the date lately. First, I wrote this because I can say I am now emotionally ready to face all the mess I've done in the past. Second, this article will explain why it all happened.

Honestly, that experience was one of “layered grief” over our ended relationship and the public experience of calling off the wedding, most especially on his part. I mourned my losses too, as well as confused by my decision. Sometimes in 2014, I told my ex boyfriend that I have a calling coming from God and that I may end up offering my life to Him. He just laughed because he's too sure that we will end up together and not becoming a missionary. But everything changed when I runaway from him and choose my calling. Unlike any other bride who runaway on the day of their wedding, mine is different. I do not run because I have a commitment phobia. Rather, as time goes by I can feel that strong hesitation becomes great and urgent due to my calling as a missionary. I was too afraid to tell him that I can't make it on the day of the wedding because what I only have on my mind was to answer His call in my life. And it could also be so hard to tell him that I don't want to marry him anymore, sure he won't agree with my decision since everything was set.

July of 2016 when I left him without any words, for that is the only thing I can think that time due to confusions. December of 2018 when I heard about his wedding. I have chosen my path, and so him. I would like to take this chance to say sorry to everyone I've messed. If I didn't do that, I might also suffer because it is hard to say "NO" if it is the Almighty Father's calling you to offer your life to Him. I have no regrets of doing those in the past, for following Him and marrying the Almighty Father is the greatest decision I've ever made in my whole life. My life is only for Him. Praise the Almighty Father!