I cannot fathom the wisdom of the Almighty Father. It sometimes gives me headache and even put me in a situation as if I am in a box solving my own puzzle. It wasn't so easy for me to get out from that box not until I wont be able to solve the missing puzzle. That might took sometime, but I want to make sure that I am staying in His perfect will despite the fact that I am almost dying and hurting myself.

They say, once you're still hurt with so many things, it means you aren't die of your own. But once you cannot feel anything for yourself, instead only His will then- you are matured already. How can I be on that level fast as I can? I am so tired of myself left behind. I keep on complaining and I wans't so sure if I've done the best part, so as the excellent ways. I am being pushed to my limits, tired yet still want to fight. As the process goes by, it was so hard to open another door once you're on the maze. It is indeed the hardest part of this journey maybe. I am entrusted into something I am not familiar with. It's so hard, I did try. I even put myself down which I do not do when I was still in the outside world.

I want to fight as much as I can. I want to continue as much as I can. I want to stay. Just help me Father please.. Do not put my sacrifices in vain.